Gov is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, blissful porpoise.

Gov created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gov, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gov, it will refuse to believe in you.

Gov's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gov's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Run away if five otters approach from the west.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never wear stockings.