Jiggemdam is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, astonishing rat.

Jiggemdam created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jiggemdam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jiggemdam, it will cry a lot.

Jiggemdam's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Jiggemdam's Holy Commandments

1. Jiggemdam must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Never paint your face orange.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Run away if six frogs approach from the east.