Lakbafhen Padrowcan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, kind bear.

Lakbafhen Padrowcan created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakbafhen Padrowcan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lakbafhen Padrowcan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lakbafhen Padrowcan's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Lakbafhen Padrowcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. You must love Lakbafhen Padrowcan.

5. Do not commit murder.