Cunkembab is a god.

She takes the form of a small, overgenerous crab.

Cunkembab created the Sol system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunkembab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cunkembab, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cunkembab's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cunkembab's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

2. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

3. Never gather four foxes near bridges.

4. Never record names.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.