Belljinzed is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, amazing aardvark.

Belljinzed created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Belljinzed, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Belljinzed, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Belljinzed's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Belljinzed's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green mice for they are unholy.

2. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

5. Always take life seriously.