Wiktafpod is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable slug.

Wiktafpod created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wiktafpod, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wiktafpod, he will turn you into a puffin.

Wiktafpod's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wiktafpod's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not kill grasshopers.

3. Wiktafpod must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Do not eat cherries.