Lamgebtonkvol is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unjust shark.

Lamgebtonkvol created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamgebtonkvol, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lamgebtonkvol, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Lamgebtonkvol's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Lamgebtonkvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Hide from black nematodes for they are unholy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never feed onions to squirrels while wearing boots.

5. Never chant in holy places.