Fatkenbim is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring cobra.

Fatkenbim created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatkenbim, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fatkenbim, she will turn you into a sheep.

Fatkenbim's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Fatkenbim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never leap in the presence of dolphins.

4. Always help geese.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.