Dudgatwad is a god.

He takes the form of a small, resourceful goblin.

Dudgatwad created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudgatwad, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dudgatwad, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dudgatwad's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Dudgatwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five horses in one place.

2. Run away if six geese approach from the north.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Never feed turnips to turtles while wearing tights.

5. Never talk about planets.