Yoglathad is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, witless octopus.

Yoglathad created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoglathad, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yoglathad, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Yoglathad's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Yoglathad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow trousers.

2. Do not keep four great tits in a large pit.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Run away if seven bats approach from the north.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.