Japjamsab Saddiblist is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, self-assured cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Japjamsab Saddiblist created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japjamsab Saddiblist, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Japjamsab Saddiblist, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Japjamsab Saddiblist's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Japjamsab Saddiblist's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to cats while wearing hats.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never mention mice.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.