Kabtof is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unfair elephant.

Kabtof created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kabtof, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kabtof, she will cry a lot.

Kabtof's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Kabtof's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Kabtof in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Never write about ultrasonics.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.