Nillarmtag is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, stupid spider.

Nillarmtag created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nillarmtag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nillarmtag, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nillarmtag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nillarmtag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about enzymes.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Retreat if four hamsters approach from the east.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.