Yakgilraw is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, caring gorilla.

Yakgilraw created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakgilraw, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yakgilraw, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yakgilraw's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Yakgilraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick shrews.

2. Yakgilraw loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not keep six porpoises in a large pit.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.