Vabpopomin Funnarhun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, sage warg.

Vabpopomin Funnarhun created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabpopomin Funnarhun, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vabpopomin Funnarhun, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vabpopomin Funnarhun's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Vabpopomin Funnarhun's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

3. Feed all hungry voles.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Always remove boots before touching aluminium.