Pintettirullyat is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonourable wolf.

Pintettirullyat created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pintettirullyat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pintettirullyat, it will turn you into a hamster.

Pintettirullyat's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Pintettirullyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix peanuts with oil.

2. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

3. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

5. Always pray immersed in water.