Afquamgod is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, weak warg.

Afquamgod created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afquamgod, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Afquamgod, it will manifest in front of you.

Afquamgod's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Afquamgod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine seals approach from the east.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Afquamgod loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.