Disscimflat is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-assured lion.

Disscimflat created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disscimflat, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Disscimflat, she will turn you into a snail.

Disscimflat's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Disscimflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Disscimflat's name in vain.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Worship no other gods but Disscimflat.