Fitnurdad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, loving wolf.

Fitnurdad created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitnurdad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitnurdad, it will manifest in front of you.

Fitnurdad's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fitnurdad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites in need.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Fitnurdad on top of all buildings.