Vonkboggepbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fast beaver.

Vonkboggepbaf created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkboggepbaf, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonkboggepbaf, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Vonkboggepbaf's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Vonkboggepbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not keep five dogs in a large pit.

5. Do not stand on grass.