Quillwipmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, weak hamster.

Quillwipmeg created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillwipmeg, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quillwipmeg, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quillwipmeg's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Quillwipmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Do not kill dolphins.

3. Never feed lots of lentils to great tits while wearing purple stockings.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not travel during spring.