Flagkikwan is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, dishonest badger.

Flagkikwan created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flagkikwan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flagkikwan, she will cry a lot.

Flagkikwan's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Flagkikwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near aardvarks while wearing white trousers and balancing six silicon spheres on your legs.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never paint your hands gray.