Ganpadjat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering coyote.

Ganpadjat created the Sol system three million years ago.

If you believe in Ganpadjat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ganpadjat, it will curse you with boils.

Ganpadjat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Ganpadjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not hurt whales.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Learn five new languages a year.