Lantail is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, dishonourable guinea pig.

Lantail created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lantail, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lantail, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Lantail's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Lantail's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of whales.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

5. You must never eat bread.