Tonkarthog Jinhomstiptettigun is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring fairy.

Tonkarthog Jinhomstiptettigun created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkarthog Jinhomstiptettigun, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonkarthog Jinhomstiptettigun, he will not invite you to parties.

Tonkarthog Jinhomstiptettigun's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tonkarthog Jinhomstiptettigun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Never feed lots of cherries to snails while wearing turquoise ear rings.