Ganarphon Cinhatvon is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, selfish alligator.

Ganarphon Cinhatvon created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganarphon Cinhatvon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ganarphon Cinhatvon, it will remove you from existence.

Ganarphon Cinhatvon's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Ganarphon Cinhatvon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must love Ganarphon Cinhatvon.

3. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

4. Never think about special relativity near dogs while wearing fawn hats and balancing nine nickel spheres on your neck.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.