Fotdabsom is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, moody armadillo.

Fotdabsom created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fotdabsom, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fotdabsom, she will come to you in dreams.

Fotdabsom's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fotdabsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat turtles with great respect.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Fotdabsom on top of all buildings.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Respect your elders.