Vonhimwit is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, prudent tapir.

Vonhimwit created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Vonhimwit, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonhimwit, it will not invite you to parties.

Vonhimwit's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Vonhimwit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peas.

2. Do not take Vonhimwit's name in vain.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always obey Vonhimwit's priests.

5. Never think about special relativity near snails while wearing purple corsets and balancing eight nickel spheres on your feet.