Gomqueegzak Gethigflat is a god.

It takes the form of a large, astonishing lobster.

Gomqueegzak Gethigflat created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomqueegzak Gethigflat, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gomqueegzak Gethigflat, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gomqueegzak Gethigflat's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Gomqueegzak Gethigflat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

2. Run away if three goats approach from the south.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gomqueegzak Gethigflat.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Never look in ponds.