Fodcanfid is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless dingo.

Fodcanfid created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodcanfid, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fodcanfid, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fodcanfid's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Fodcanfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never wear hats.