Sitgumgen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, deceitful whale.

Sitgumgen created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitgumgen, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sitgumgen, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sitgumgen's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Sitgumgen's Holy Commandments

1. Sitgumgen loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not laugh at mountains.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never adorn your back with gray markings.