Ontzognarl is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous camel.

Ontzognarl created gold seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontzognarl, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ontzognarl, he will turn you into a mouse.

Ontzognarl's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Ontzognarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about rats.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Ontzognarl loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.