Ranliptantun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, contented squirrel.

Ranliptantun created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranliptantun, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ranliptantun, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Ranliptantun's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Ranliptantun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never run in the presence of shrews.

5. Never think ill of sick porpoises.