Jipquatmad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, tranquil eagle.

Jipquatmad created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipquatmad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jipquatmad, she will turn you into a hamster.

Jipquatmad's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Jipquatmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near moths while wearing orange scarves and balancing five platinum spheres on your arms.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.