Yarvonmin is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unthinking cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yarvonmin created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarvonmin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarvonmin, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Yarvonmin's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Yarvonmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Do not speak about rice.

5. Learn three new languages a year.