Fardunligarp is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, almighty clam.

Fardunligarp created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Fardunligarp, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fardunligarp, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fardunligarp's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fardunligarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt ants.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fardunligarp.

5. Never feed tomatoes to manatees while wearing purple shoes.