Bonkzignurl is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, slow guinea pig.

Bonkzignurl created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Bonkzignurl, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bonkzignurl, it will make you grow a tail.

Bonkzignurl's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bonkzignurl's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six capybaras approach from the south.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.