Nilldoncin is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, idiotic hedgehog.

Nilldoncin created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilldoncin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nilldoncin, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Nilldoncin's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Nilldoncin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare carrots while wearing ear rings.

2. Never feed lots of limes to frogs while wearing fawn scarves.

3. Do not contemplate thermodynamics during the night.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near dogs while wearing orange rings and balancing three copper spheres on your legs.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.