Hivfonlog is a god.

He takes the form of a large, almighty human.

Hivfonlog created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivfonlog, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hivfonlog, he will cry a lot.

Hivfonlog's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Hivfonlog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Hivfonlog loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always obey Hivfonlog's priests.

5. Do not bounce in public.