Sattamtif is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unthinking horse.

Sattamtif created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sattamtif, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sattamtif, he will destroy your home solar system.

Sattamtif's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Sattamtif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always help geese in need.

3. Do not prepare melons while wearing skirts.

4. Never wear purple stockings.

5. Do not speak sacred words in summer.