Popfaskon is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciful dog.

Popfaskon created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Popfaskon, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Popfaskon, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Popfaskon's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Popfaskon's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry snails.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing children.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Popfaskon in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never point your legs toward the south during prayer.