Nurlnatjip is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, moody squirrel.

Nurlnatjip created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlnatjip, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nurlnatjip, he will turn you into a tree.

Nurlnatjip's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Nurlnatjip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Feed all hungry dolphins.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Put Nurlnatjip first in all things.