Tabbabgun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, tranquil mink.

Tabbabgun created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tabbabgun, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tabbabgun, it will jump up and down on your head.

Tabbabgun's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tabbabgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven turtles in a large pit.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near ducks while wearing green shirts and balancing five iron spheres on your neck.

3. Retreat if six otters approach from the west.

4. Always look after injured badgers.

5. Never think about black holes.