Tomtimtan is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, staggering hyena.

Tomtimtan created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomtimtan, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tomtimtan, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tomtimtan's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tomtimtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Never talk about spacetime near mice while wearing cyan kilts.

3. Never think ill of sick sheep.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never eat bark.