Begdotpig Pagcunton is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic pigeon.

Begdotpig Pagcunton created a charm quark two years ago.

If you believe in Begdotpig Pagcunton, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Begdotpig Pagcunton, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Begdotpig Pagcunton's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Begdotpig Pagcunton's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises in need.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Begdotpig Pagcunton loves dolphins, so they must be respected.