Abganlargjop is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, intelligent manatee.

Abganlargjop created time and space five million years ago.

If you believe in Abganlargjop, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Abganlargjop, he will turn you into a rock.

Abganlargjop's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Abganlargjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near bats.

2. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.