Mifvonjin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, dishonest human.

Mifvonjin created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mifvonjin, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mifvonjin, he will turn you into a slug.

Mifvonjin's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Mifvonjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise shorts.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. You must pray to Mifvonjin four times a day.