Jonmancem is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, humorless toad.

Jonmancem created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Jonmancem, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jonmancem, he will turn you into a puffin.

Jonmancem's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Jonmancem's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never adorn your head with indigo markings.

3. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with fear.

4. Do not keep three badgers in a large pit.

5. Do not consume lentils at dawn.