Hakganmob Flanwanbassfetquimmid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet jackal.

Hakganmob Flanwanbassfetquimmid created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakganmob Flanwanbassfetquimmid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hakganmob Flanwanbassfetquimmid, she will turn you into a duck.

Hakganmob Flanwanbassfetquimmid's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Hakganmob Flanwanbassfetquimmid's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hakganmob Flanwanbassfetquimmid.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed peanuts to cats while wearing mauve corsets.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.