Rattoftig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, capable grasshopper.

Rattoftig created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rattoftig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rattoftig, she will manifest in front of you.

Rattoftig's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Rattoftig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.