Fligfumbastpaklakwipzogstig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome seal.

Fligfumbastpaklakwipzogstig created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fligfumbastpaklakwipzogstig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fligfumbastpaklakwipzogstig, it will send minions to preach to you.

Fligfumbastpaklakwipzogstig's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fligfumbastpaklakwipzogstig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the east.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fligfumbastpaklakwipzogstig.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Always help sick bats.

5. Always look after injured squirrels.