Yogmidspag is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, loving squid.

Yogmidspag created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yogmidspag, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yogmidspag, it will turn you into a hamster.

Yogmidspag's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Yogmidspag's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always obey Yogmidspag's priests.

3. Never feed spinach to great tits while wearing corsets.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always share figs with strangers, but never with tapirs.