Wapzigtad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic walrus.

Wapzigtad created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapzigtad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wapzigtad, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wapzigtad's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Wapzigtad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place garlic upon stone.

2. Never travel toward the north during spring.

3. Never think ill of sick voles.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Never play with disobedient children.