Pidhomarp is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unselfish porpoise.

Pidhomarp created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidhomarp, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pidhomarp, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Pidhomarp's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Pidhomarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

3. Pidhomarp loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never remain kneeling at dawn.