Zagnelmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy giraffe.

Zagnelmeg created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagnelmeg, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Zagnelmeg, she will turn you into a mouse.

Zagnelmeg's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Zagnelmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Zagnelmeg's priests.

2. Never wear cyan hats.

3. Feed all hungry snails.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always maintain patience during days of mourning.